Michael Tessmer

Hellbeast Michael Tessmer
Crimes: Animal cruelty, child cruelty

“My dad’s a killer,” wrote an 11-year-old Oconomowoc, Wisconsin boy on an after-school childcare program sheet. That sure as hell got the teacher’s attention. And it turns out that the boy’s father, Michael Tessmer, was indeed a killer — a dog killer. The Tessmer family’s labradoodle Zorro learned that the hard way.

It seems that on February 28, 2009 Michael dog-killer Tessmer came home with his 2 kids and discovered that 3-year-old Zorro had urinated and defecated in the house.

Hey, shit happens — I know, since I myself have 4 beloved dogs. If one has an accident, then it triggers piddle wars with each dog trying to outdo the others. It’s a good thing they’re cute!

But I guess shit isn’t allowed to happen in the Tessmer house. And being totally adorable didn’t help Zorro at all.

I don’t know if Michael dog-killer Tessmer was under stress because of his impending divorce or if he was having issues with his business Tessmer Auto Sales in Waukesha. In fact, I don’t give a flying f*ckety f*ck about Tessmer’s issues. We all have issues. But this f*cktard was obviously right on the edge and should not have been allowed near his children and his dog.

Coming home to the dog’s mess was apparently was enough to trigger Michael the f*ckwad Tessmer’s murderous rage. Immediately, in front of his children — IN FRONT OF HIS CHILDREN — Michael Tessmer unleashed unholy hell upon poor Zorro.

He kicked the dog, and kicked the dog, and kicked the dog. Ten body blows in all. He kicked that dog right down the hall. And then he shoved a paper towel he’d used to wipe up the urine right in the poor dog’s face.

And through it all the kids were watching, horrified, and crying.

I can’t tell you how much I loathe animal abusers. It’s on a par with my loathing for pedophiles. The thought that poor Zorro, who had nothing but love for his family, was brutalized by one he loved breaks my heart.

The Tessmer children loved that dog. He was family. The boy and his 7-year-old sister were understandably horribly traumatized by the violence they’d witnessed.

That night the boy lay with the mortally injured dog, listening to his heavy, laboured breathing. I’m guessing Zorro was his best friend.

At some point in the night Zorro made it as far as the back door and died.

The next day, after going to church, Michael the dog-killer Tessmer’s son asked where Zorro was. At first good old Dad told the boy that the dog was outside. Later he told both children that the dog died of a heart attack. That’s the tale he told his estranged wife on the phone. (You can tell he learned so much from church — not!)

So their dad said Zorro had a heart attack, but the Tessmer kids knew better. They’d seen what happened. And what they’d seen is something no child should be made to see. It’s something they can never un-see.

And now the kids knew their dad is a dog killer and a liar. Good parenting job, Michael Tessmer!

Dog killer/bad parent Michael Tessmer didn’t stick with the heart attack story. He went on to claim Zorro was struck by a table. Riiight. That’s what tables do — strike out at passing dogs.

And Tessmer the liar switched the story to some nonsensical bullshit about the dog being pulled along a frozen lake.

The lying dog killer also said the poor beast died of rat poison. Yeah, right. That’s slightly more believable than the murderous table and frozen lake stories, but still total bullshit.

Michael the hellbeast Tessmer’s lies didn’t help his son to overcome Zorro’s death. In fact, after witnessing the horrific attack on his beloved pet, the boy suffered from anxiety, depression and withdrawal. He began to have nightmares (*shock*) and flashbacks. The poor kid could not sleep alone for months afterward, he was so scared. I feel so bad for that child, bless his heart.

After the boy wrote that note on the after-school program sheet, authorities got involved. Sure enough, examination of the body revealed the dog died from massive bleeding and torn muscles caused by blunt force trauma. No heart attack, no rat poison, just one hell of a beating.

Michael the dog killer Tessmer, 54 and old enough to know better, was charged with felony counts of mistreatment of animals and causing mental harm to a child. He went to trial in March 2011.

The Tessmer children both testified in court, and the jurors saw video recordings of interviews of the boy and girl conducted by a social worker.

The dog killer’s lawyer, Dan Fay, argued that his client kicked the dog once, maybe twice, but didn’t intend to kill the dog. Yeah, that makes it so much better.

The lawyer also suggested to the jury that the dog had ingested rat poison, but authorities never tested for rat poison. He maintained the massive hemorrhaging was consistent with rat poison.

Hmmm, but what about the torn muscles? How does rat poison tear muscles?

“We don’t know what this dog died of,” Mr. Fay asserted in court.

But I think we do know, and the jury agrees with me. They found Michael Tessmer guilty of inflicting mental cruelty on a child and mistreatment of animals. He faced up to 7 years in prison for acting like a total asshole douchebag.

But he didn’t get 7 years in prison. To be fair, the prosecutor didn’t ask for 7 years. Assistant D.A. Michelle Hulgaard asked Judge Kathleen B. Stilling to put him away for 4 years and extended supervision for a total of 8 years when released.

“A dad is there to make their children feel protected. These children felt anything but protected when they saw what he had done to their animal,” Assistant D.A. Hulgaard told the court.

I especially like how Assistant D.A. Hulgaard said in court, “You don’t kick a dog to show love.” Listen and learn, assholes of the world! You don’t kick anything or anyone to show love.

The judge agreed that what Michael the douchebag Tessmer did to Zorro and his kids was terrible, but sending him off to prison would be even worse for the children.

“I really feel that doing that would harm them financially, emotionally,” said Judge Stilling. She came to the conclusion that visiting their dad in prison would be harmful to the Tessmer offspring.

Before he was sentenced, Michael Tessmer got a chance to apologize.

“I’m sorry for putting my kids through this. I never thought it would come to this. I’m sorry to my family. And I accept responsibility for what I’ve done. I don’t want to be taken away from my kids. I don’t think the kids want to be taken away from me. I do everything in my power to protect and take care of those kids.” And then Tessmer added, “What I did was not right. I’m ashamed of it.”

I don’t know about you but I have a few issues with his apology. He says he accepts responsibility for what he’d done. Really? But according to him the dog died of rat poison and not the 1 or 2 harmless little kicks he’d delivered without intending to cause any pain and suffering.

And he does everything in his power to protect and take care of his children? By destroying the dog they loved? By having them witness the beating he gave the dog? By lying to them repeatedly? By traumatizing and scaring them so they’re afraid to sleep alone? In what universe does that add up to protecting and taking care of children?

The most true thing I think he said was what he did was not right. Nothing he did that awful day and the days after was right.

On May 9, 2011, Michael Tessmer was sentenced to 12 months in Waukesha County’s work release jail, and 3 years’ probation. If Tessmer fails to meet the terms of his probation, he could be sent to prison.

I truly hope Michael the asshole Tessmer has learned from this whole thing. I hope he has learned to control his rage. I hope he has learned to consider his children above all things. I hope he has learned to be a good father. And I hope he has learned to become a decent human being.

I have to admit I have doubts that Michael the douchebag Tessmer will learn all those things. He’s probably too much of an asshole to learn. I do hope he proves me wrong. His kids need a better father than the one he’s been.

I hope and pray that the Tessmer children overcome the entire trauma and go on to live happy, successful lives. Bless their hearts. And R.I.P. Zorro, you lovely darling dog.

Daily Mail article
Living Lake Country article
Journal Sentinel article

13 Responses to Michael Tessmer

  1. Trace says:

    This idiot is a total asshat. The judge was wrong — the kids would be better not being with him for a few years. He was willing to stomp a dog to death over an accident — what’ll he do if he gets mad at one of the kids? He can’t be trusted, not with his rage issues.

  2. dogwalker says:

    I wish somebody could stomp this douche with army boots. Let him get a taste of what he put his poor dog through. I feel really bad for the son and daughter. It’s hard to love a pet and lose it. I can’t imagine how hard it is to have it killed in front of you.

  3. moodymagic says:

    What a role model! He loves his kid! Make me puke. I am sure one or both of the kids will be next if he doesn’t . Poor Poor sweet Zorro

  4. bengalpuss29 says:

    And i hope and pray that someone kicks michael tessmer as many times as he kicked poor zorro the dog. Preferably in his nuts or his head. And i pray that the children’s mother goes to court to get an order banning him from seeing those children until he had completed anger courses, parenting classes and any other courses deemed appropriate for the health safety and psychology of the children that he has inevitability damaged. If i had my way i’d ban him until the children were old enough to make up their own decisions, but im not their mother. And the sentence the judge imposed, was a joke

  5. 2cute says:

    Those poor, poor kids, and that poor doggie. There should be an extra asshole tax that assholes like Tessmer have to pay every year after they get out. And the money should go to enforcers who once a year kick the tar out of assholes for being assholes. Think of it as a rehabilitation program.

  6. Kew says:

    It was also his responsibility to make sure poor Zorro could get outside for toileting. If the poor little creature was locked inside the house I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must have been for him to try to not soil himself. Poor baby.

    The poor little guy was probably trying to get out to toilet as he died as well.

    Pray Lord that dear Zorro is safe with you now.

    This fellow should definitely have been gaoled. There must be someone responsible who could care for the kids – almost anyone other than their father would be a better choice.

  7. kathryn says:

    There is no possibility that these 2 children will forget or get over what they saw, it will stay with them forever and this man has damaged his relationship with his children permanently. MONSTER!

  8. bulldoggy says:

    Tessmer’s son is an awesome young man. It takes a lot of guts to turn in your own dad. I’m pretty sure this horror will haunt him for life, but I think he won’t follow in his dad’s footsteps since he was brave enough to do something about it.

    • bengalpuss29 says:

      I have to agree with you there bulldoggy. Im so glad the young boy said something and i don’t think that he will turn out like his fucktard father. What an evil thing to do to that poor dog and in front of his children, i hope they are not too badly scarred by what they witnessed that day. I also think the father needs to be made to do parents classes because he obviously doesn’t know how to parent his children properly.

      • bulldoggy says:

        Glad you agree with me Bengalpuss29. Life is good when women think I’m right AND put it in writing!

        • bengalpuss29 says:

          Ah yes bulldoggy but im not your wife so you can have whatever you want in writing cos its not gonna fuck little ole me up back over here in blighty

  9. bulldoggy says:

    Bengalpuss29, you’ll put whatever I want in writing? I’d have to give it considered thought. I’ll consult with my dog Charlie to see if he has any ideas. He’s brilliant you know. And right now he’s giving me the eye telling me not to push my luck. I’ll content myself with what you’ve already written. But thanks for the offer.

    And as to Michael Tessmer I’m sure Charlie would like to first piss on him and then chew on his leg until he hasn’t a leg left to kick a dog with.

    • bengalpuss29 says:

      I think though charlie should piss and shit on him and chew both michael tessemers legs off, then he’d be “stumped” wouldn’t he, and he could “arse” about as much as he wants. He certainly wouldn’t be kicking any dogs after charlie sorts him out Lol.

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